The Master Artist

In my saddest days I am uplifted!
To know You, my God, are in control.
Others may not see what is so plain.
What is so obvious whenever I step outside.
The sky, the clouds, the stars, the sun, the moon.
The day, the night, and the changes that come with them!
Oh, behold how even a flower curls to sleep!
The way the wind blows gentle then strong.
When the sun sets, how can they not see?
How can they not see that only You could create such a thing.
A masterpiece of the Master Artist.

Feathered friends, they sing of You.
So many colors, patterns, and looks.
Nay, it could not have been by chance.
Nay, friends, nay!
Why is one bird blue and another red?
Oh, why?
Because He would have it that way.
For they are masterpieces of the Master Artist.

We, Your creation, mix that which You have made.
Trying to make new beauty equal to Yours.
But nay, it is not like what Your hands have formed.
The natural flora that grows in the woods.
The wild creatures that cannot be tamed.
Nay, it is not like Yours!
For You, Lord.
You are the Master Artist!
And none can ever create what You have done.

Silent Smile

Can you see through my smile?
See through the little lie?
Do you even care?
I doubt it.
Why do I try?
Why do I care?
It is obvious my kindness is for naught.
Hah. You think I care?
Your words, they do nothing.
Mean nothing.
I smile, genuinely, when you try to bring me down.
I laugh in my head.
So...pitiful.
Do you have nothing better to do than tell me what is...best?
I...
Am not you.
You...
Are not me.
Do not pretend you know how I am.
Do not act like you know what goes on in my life.
You will be sorrily disappointed when that last grasp slips.
When my hold on the raging anger fails.
So I smile.
Wishing it away.
Forcing it to the back of my mind.
My being.
Gaining control as the words start to bubble to the surface.
Biting my lip to stop their sting.
To stop their reign.
I simply remain silent.
Do you ever wonder why?
Ask me.
I will only smile.
Genuinely?
Perhaps.
Silence.
That is one thing I can say I embrace when my anger rises.
Before it overflows, taking my heart down that familiar dark path.
The black anger that, so many times, has tried to take control.
That is why.
Why I silently smile.
Silently smile at your hurtful words.

A Rant on Claw Machines: Then and Now

When I was around thirteen or so I loved to play the claw machine. For 50 cents I could almost always win a stuffed animal. Before I was even born, when my mom was out truck driving and came to a truck stop, she would win so many times she brought back garbage bags full of stuffed animals for my cousins. Ah, the good old days of truthful games of skill and chance.

But now? Every time I see a claw machine I frown. I know it isn't worth it anymore. Sure, it's still only 50 cents but you win a lot less often. And I mean a lot less often. Every time, these past two years, I have tried my hand at any claw machine, I have noticed something. The claws don't close like they are supposed to.

No, I'm not just saying that because I'm no good at these games. I'm saying that because it's true. The claw opens, sinks over the prize, closes perfectly around the colorful animal...and doesn't lock around it. Comes right back up, as if there was nothing there, dashing hopes and dreams in the process. Well, maybe not hopes and dreams...

But really, all it is is the owners wanting money. Someone fails, frowns, tries again until they realize it's absolutely pointless. In fact, almost every single animal/character in two of the machines at Wal-Mart are still there. It's a shame really...

So I guess, when it comes down to it, people have simply gotten greedy.

An Observation on Happiness

The soft chirping and trilling is rather peaceful. The way they look up at me when I approach them, then run in circles when I try to pick one up, is both cute and amusing. It is strange how something so small can bring so much joy.

But is it, really?

No, I don't think it is. But...

Many find life to be unhappy, yet they have everything they could ever want. And more. It isn't the big things or the most expensive things that bring us happiness...

Sure you might temporarily feel joy about that thing, you didn't really need but got anyways, but it is a fleeting feeling. It doesn't last. Gone as something else comes your way. Then you need something else to fill that empty happiness. And something to fill that. And it just keeps going on until you realize, suddenly, that these things...they never really ever gave you happiness.

Can those inanimate objects, that we humans create, can they really take the place of the natural things, created by the Almighty? The things that want, that long for our love and care? The things that will reward us by multiplying?

Plants provide food and other plants. Some animals provide food, others provide companionship, sometimes both, and they create more animals, to find joy in raising.

But that takes work, you say. And work isn't something happy. But I dare to disagree. You can make things happy, joyful. But only if you really want to. Your life is only as dark and depressing as you let it be. You don't have to be angry...or sad...or anything else that you don't want to be. We let ourselves become this way. No one makes us. Therefore we are in control of how happy we are. We can say, "I want my job to be a happy one! So for now on I'm going to smile and be happy."

But what about those people in our lives, the ones who constantly belittle us and tell us what to do? Everyone's problems are different. We all have different things we can do to fix these problems.

Me? What do I do?

I don't reply hardly ever to their little rants and lectures. 'This is what you have to do.' Or. 'You only have this many choices.'

And I usually go somewhere else. I'm there physically, but somewhere far away, where their words do not reach me. Yet I am aware of what they are saying. But I hardly ever reply. And when I do it is small responses. Ones that I have thought over for these continuous words.

I often wonder if these people realize what they are doing. Or if they care. But I don't let it bother me, no matter how much it tries to take over my train of thought. I just smile through it all, loving them anyway.

And having someone to talk to is always nice. Someone that seems to understand. Someone like...my mom.

She and my brother make me happy. As do all the small things in my life.

Yes, sometimes I get depressed. Sometimes I just want to sit and feel sorry for myself. But I have so much to live for. So much I can do to be a light for others. To maybe, just for a small moment, make someone else happy.

It always makes me happy to see someone who has a frown on their face suddenly light up with a smile. And all it took was someone else smiling at them or saying a kind word.

I could be so bitter and cold right now. So uncaring and unkind. But I'm not. Because I don't want to be. I'm happy with my life. And isn't that what really matters?

Be Strong

There will be a time when the world will try to bring you down.
Stand tall!
You are better than what they say, what they think of you.
You know you are better than that.
Never give into their false words.
And when all else fails...there is always someone willing to stand by you.
To pray for you. To help you make it through this journey we call life. 

Isn't that what matters?
Knowing someone is there, helping you, whether or not you realize it?

Snow!

Heh. We (my mom, me , and my little brother) Went sledding today. It was rather amusing to watch my mom go flying (figurtively speaking, of course) down the hill and break my distance record. I honestly would have went farther, but I rolled off because the small bump looked...dangerous. But apparently, it was not.

To Teach a Cat

I'm trying to train my brother's cat (Thor) to sit still, let me put a kitty treat on the tip of his nose, then wait until I say go to (try) to catch it when he tosses it. I tried it for the first time today. He's a smart cat, already listens when I say 'wait', almost caught the treat too.

I've always heard people say it's near impossible to train a cat to do tricks. All you need is patience and kitty treats. And a smart cat. My cat, the black one in the picture, shakes paws...if a treat is handy. They both will also stand on their hind legs and beg. If a treat is handy.

Ah, animals are smarter than we give them credit.

Beauty of the Storm

The air smelt of rain, that unique aroma of pure water from the heavens. The clouds were dark gray, almost black in some places. Only one flash of lightning had I saw, it rumbling out its existence to those who failed to see it. Then another rumble. I hadn't saw that flash of lightning. And then the hail started. It was a cloud burst. In January. Strange weather we are having, indeed. But that is just the signs of the times, I suppose.

On the way home, the sky was that beautiful after-storm blue. The sun, barely peeking through the still dark clouds, gave a golden orange cast to parts of the sky and clouds. It was absolutely stunning.

It's dark out now, but I still wonder...why? Why do some people look at this natural beauty and say that it was all by chance? That it was all created by some coincidence and not by a higher power? Everything, us included, is paint on a canvas. The artist is God. And what a beautiful painting He has created, indeed.